Within every relationship there are ups and downs. What makes
a relationship endure is not the absence of conflicts but the ability to
avoid power struggles and resolve disagreements. You may have read different self-help books, talked to your partner of even consulted a counselor. All of this will be of no advantage to you unless you make a commitment to keep working on improving your communication with you partner on a consistent basis. As they say practice makes perfect. Relationships grow through change.
Any relationship goes through changes the same way you change as an individual. You cannot expect your partner or your relationship to stay the same. That would be not only unrealistic but also unhealthy. Imagine your partner staying stuck in his or her old way no matter what you do or say. I cannot stress enough to couples how important it is to be consistent in doing good work in your relationship that brings the two of you closer. Perhaps the therapy sessions you may have gone to have helped some and now the two of you are communicating better and getting along. Remember to use all of the tools you have learned. Practice, practice, practice. Do not rely on your partner to do all of the work in the relationship. He or she may do it at first for a period of time and just as you think that everything is going well, you enter the same pattern of conflict, miscommunication and lack of intimacy. In order for your relationship to stay healthy you need consistency throughout your partnership. Consistency is expressed in many ways from taking time to say “I love you” to being mindful of not engaging in power struggles and being honest. Sometimes partners become too comfortable with each other and begin to slack off.
Excerpt from : Couple's Communication Made Easy (audio book)
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